Saturday, December 26, 2009

I hate my J-O-B

Go figure, right?

After four (read: almost six) years of college, I'm seriously re-thinking what I went to school for.

The school that I teach at is still considered a "suburban" school ... but is actually more of an "inner-city" school. Think Freedom Writers without the eventual respect and love coming from the students and you've got my every day life!

Seriously, I was actually told a couple of days in "This is like Freedom Writers, except we're going to tear that White Bitch up." Awesome.

Can you imagine how this is sucking the idealistic life force right out of my very soul?

Here's a couple of phrases that I hope YOU never hear at your job:

  1. You should be teaching somewhere in The Woodlands. (Me:) What is that supposed to me? (Student:) You don't belong here, Miss.
  2. I hope your baby dies
  3. Shut the *@(& up, I don't care what the *@(& you think.
  4. (Fingers in ears) NAH NAH NAH ... I'm not listening to you ... (Yeah, that's right ... I teach a bunch of babies posing as ninth graders)
  5. My mom can kick your ass.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Needless to say, my stress level is through the roof. I keep getting told that my next year will be so much easier. I know it will be ... but it doesn't make this year all that much fun.

Luckily, I'm on Christmas break right now. I'm still enjoying one more week of vacation before I go back. During this time ... I'm supposed to write this huge report about each of my 32 possible failures for the semester. Apparently, the English department is only allowed to have a 15% fail rate. So, we have to completely justify all of our failures. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to write "Sits and stares at me with contemptuous looks while not turning anything in" on the form.

How am I supposed to pass someone that doesn't turn anything in? How am I supposed to justify that they've learned something ... when they can't show me anything that they've done that proves that they've learned it?

I keep getting told "Well, if you fail them ... they are just going to end up dropping out because they are going to get frustrated." Hm, maybe if they turned some work in (some EASY work, mind you) then they wouldn't get frustrated. Some of the students can't even read very well ... and here they are in the ninth grade, because other teachers have just been passing them along. Lovely.

So, there goes all of my faith in the public school system. I'm seriously considering home-schooling Liam with this cool program that they have up here. It's classical education at it's finest ... and I've always said that Liam sounds like an intellects name.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I got a J-O-B

Like a real one. One that utilizes my degree and everything.

About three weeks ago, I was called in for an interview at a High School in Spring. I thought that I did OK in the interview, given that I was unable to wear a suit because of my protruding belly, and even laid it all out on the table. I let them know that I was due Feb. 1st, which they all seemed thankful about.

I assumed they seemed thankful, because now there was an excuse not to hire me. I asked them when they would be making their decision. They said Friday.

Friday came and went ... twice.

Last Monday, I got a phone call from one of the administrator's that I interviewed with. She said how impressed she was with me ... blah blah blah. I was waiting for the "But, we've decided to go in another direction" like I've heard numerous times over the months since graduation.

But instead, she offered me the position. I accepted.

Now, I'm simply waiting on all of the formalities. My background check is still being ran ... they are trying to decide where to put me ... etc.

But, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I've picked up my copy of Harry Wong, I've studied the thing from front to back, now lets just hope that I will be able to implement the procedures that will make me a successful first year teacher.

Oh, and did I mention that my schedule is going to be a pretty nice one? I'll have 3 weeks before Thanksgiving holidays ... (week off) ... three weeks before Christmas Holidays (two weeks off) ... 2 to 4 weeks (depending on Baby) before my maternity leave (6-8 weeks off) and then 10 weeks back before the end of the school year. And I'll be sitting there with a full year of teaching credit!



I'll keep you posted.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Liam's Playlist

I'm trying to come up with songs to start playing to Liam whenever Aaron or I listen to music. The music should be calm and soothing ... to keep my heart rate down so that Liam will know that I am in fact calm and soothed.

The plan is ... that I will play these songs to him from here on out and I'll also play it while in labor and delivery. And HOPEFULLY, it will keeps things nice and calm throughout the entire process.

I really would like to have a lot of songs (Like hours and hours worth) and right now we are sitting at 2 hours and 15 minutes. So anymore suggestions?

Here's what we have so far:

Can't help falling in love with you - Elvis
Make you feel my love - Adele
At Last - Norah Jones
Somewhere over the Rainbow - IZ
Father and Son - Cat Stevens
Sea of Love - Cat Powers
Better Together - Jack Johnson
What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
Run - Leona Lewis
Fade into you - Mazzy Star
Come What May - Moulin Rouge ST
Your Song - Moulin Rouge ST
Beautiful Boy - John Lennon
To Zion - Lauryn Hill
A New Day Has Come - Celine Dion
Simple Man - Shinedown
Blackbird - The Beatles
In My Arms - Plumb
Return to Pooh Corner - Kenny Loggins
Have I told you lately that I love you - Rod Stewart
Miracle - Celine Dion
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) - Dixie Chicks
Danny's Song - Kenny Loggins
Edelweiss - Julie Andrews
First time ever I saw your face - Celine Dion
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
Don't Cry Baby - Madeline Peyroux
With or Without You - Keane
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
This Woman's Work - Maxwell
Winter Song - Sara Bareielles & Ingrid Michaelson
Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers

Give me your suggestions!

Monday, September 21, 2009

When I think about ...

Do you ever sit back and wonder how life can get so good? And then immediately get really worried and think that something bad is almost ... in the line up? Real soon?

That's how I've been feeling lately.

Honestly, I don't know how my life could get any better right now.
  • I graduated from College in May
  • Bought a new car in May
  • I found out that I was pregnant in May
  • We are closing on our brand new built just for us house in October
  • We are having our baby at the beginning of the year next year ...
Besides the fact that petty items like Harry Potter and the Time Traveler's Wife coming out in theatre's was pretty dang cool too.

So, where's the strings? I mean, I really hate thinking of things like that. I am so very thankful for the blessing that God has bestowed upon me. But ... all of the bad stuff that has happened to me in my life ... is it just waiting around the corner to surprise me again? Or, is it finished for a while?

So far, I can say that 2009 is one of the best years of my life. It's definitely been the one with the greatest milestones!

So, I guess ... check back in December ... just to make sure ... but yeah, 2009 is number one so far!

When I think about how perfect my life is ... and then I feel Liam kick ... a huge grin plasters itself across my face.

Thank you, Lord.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Feeling him move inside me

I'm 20 weeks pregnant now. Almost 21 weeks pregnant. Half way there! But, so far ... I don't want to ever stop being pregnant, I don't think.

Sure, I want to hold my little man, I want to know if he's going to have blonde hair like his great and grand-father. Or if he's going to have brown hair like his daddy. Is he going to have brown eyes ... or light colored eyes like me? Will he have my lips ... or my eyes ... or will he be the spitting image of the amazing man that I can call mine?

But, I love feeling him move inside me. I love knowing that I am never alone. He's always there ... right below my belly button. Even as I type this, he's pushing against my stomach in quick successions, and it makes me smile every time. I feel like I was born to be pregnant. It's been amazing.

So, yes ... I'm half way there ... and then there is the rest of my life that I get to spend with the sweet little boy that is growing so big inside me. But, right now ... I'm perfectly content with his little jabs to remind me of God's little miracle.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I hate you ... you stupid typers ... you

There is this new phenomenon that is LOL Cats. Or, maybe it's not actually new? Yeah, it's probably not that new ... I think it's been around for a while. Anyway, I digress.

I flipping LOVE LOL Cats. LOVE it. Aaron and I can sit at the house all day long laughing our asses off at the new "cat of the day." Seriously. Cats are the superior animal ... and I can say this ... I have both cats and dogs!

Well, now they have this one website "I can has cheezburger" that has placed all of the LOL cats, Dogs, Celebrities (which is a new one and one that I must check out after writing this post) all in one website. Awesome.

Except ... for the comment section.

It's cute when the cat says something in "cat voice" as I refer to it ... something along the lines of: "Iz not addicted to caffeine, Iz just need it to function" and a picture of a cat drinking out of a mug. Get it?

But then you look at the comments ... and EVERY ONE is speaking in "LOL talk." Seriously? I think that we have enough problems in our school systems today dealing with students trying to write paper in "text" form ... and now you are going to make a whole NEW language? Oh NO! NO NO NO!

I hate this new type so much, it makes me want to stop looking at LOL Cats on principal. But, as Aaron says ... "That's the Internet." -Shrug-

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Random Thoughts from People Our Age

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don 't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose
not to be friends with?

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first
saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else
to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired
about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
Classy, bro.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this.
It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do
to with it.

Even under ide al conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from
3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on;
and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
There's nothing like being made to feel like fat before dinner.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Score One for Constipation

Blah blah blah.

So, I didn't have morning sickness. Or, not really anyway. I threw up once ... but my toothbrush was in my mouth and I've been prone to gag during a good teeth brushing anyway.
I still have pretty good skin.
My gums haven't bled at all.
I haven't started having leg cramps.
But, let me tell you ... I've had it bad with the constipation the past couple of days.

Jeez! I don't know if the baby (fondly named Liam by the way) is somehow laying on my colon, or if he's already made himself at home fondling with my intestines, or what. But, I feel very ... full ... at the moment.

So far, this is the end of day three with barely a "pooplet" (not my word) in sight. I've been eating "roughage," I've been drinking lots of water, and I even went and picked up some benefiber and fiber bars today. Now, I'm just plagued with gas. Lovely.

So yeah, I might have gotten out of my first trimester unharmed ... but this second one is starting to get kind of clogged up here.

Any remedies?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Interview Me

So, I've posted in the past that my life mirrors Jen Lancaster (author of Bitter is the New Black & Such a Pretty Fat ... read them ... NOW), but when I envisioned my job hunt ... it didn't exactly include being interviewed by an eighteen year old manager of a tanning salon after 5 1/2 years of getting a degree.

I wasn't able to find a job with a school this year. I've been told a number of things ... the main one being that it's "just so hard to find a job in education right now ... people aren't leaving etc." However, I felt that I did everything right when it came to my education classes.
  • 4.0 in Educational classes
  • 3.1 in English classes
  • Rave reviews from university supervisors and mentor teachers
  • Networking with the principals and department heads
  • On time every day for classes ... staying late to grade work and help students
And so on and so forth. And yet, even the schools that I student taught at didn't hire me.

I'm sick of sitting at the house all day with nothing to do. At first, it seems like a fun gig, sleeping late and what have you. But, with four animals it starts wearing on a person's nerves. I've got Link that needs to be in my lap at all times. Nakomis that whimpers every three seconds because no one is paying attention to her. Petal that uses her claws as leverage when trying to climb my leg. And Emily, who will get pissed off at me for some reason and go and lay a stinker in the litter box as if she KNOWS that I can't clean it up and instead have to sit and smell it for hours until Aaron gets home/up to clean up the problem.

Yesterday, at the used book store, I mentioned my unemployment status and the guy there asked me to bring in a resume. I get all excited ... run home and get one together ... bring it in ... and just get an "OK, Thanks." ARGH!!!!

Which brings us to tomorrow at 2 pm. I have an interview tomorrow with the tanning conglomerate "EZ Tan." The girl that will be interviewing me is eighteen years old. I can't re-iterate enough that when I started college ... I never would have envisioned graduating and then getting a low paying job that high schoolers are also qualified for.

So, I guess ... wish me luck. I doubt that I'll get the job ... it's like the other jobs that I interviewed for in the recent past ... I'm probably over qualified, over-aged, and over pregnant. I can't tan and can't lift things over 25 lbs ... but maybe I can wow them with my college degree and determination??


Monday, August 3, 2009

Blast you maternity shirts!

First of all, don't think that I am not utterly thankful for the fact that Maternity clothes are way super cute and actually quite fashionable. Also, do not think that I'm not utterly thankful for the fact that my sister-in-law gave me 100s of dollars worth of maternity clothes ... meaning that I only will need to probably by pants for myself! (Lucky lucky me!)

However, seriously maternity shirts? Do you think that pregnant women enjoy the fact that their boobs are over-sized and over-stuffed? Do you think that we enjoy the fact that our regular shirts don't fit anymore ... not because of their ever-growing belly ... but because of their ever growing boobs? And what do you go and do? You go and make nearly all cute pregnancy shirts those V or Cross tops that show the goodies like nobodies business.

Seriously. Really? I'm sure that my husband doesn't want to see the mother of his children walking around town with her breastacles and bra showing.

I mean, who knows ... maybe some women are thinking in their heads ... "YES!!! I have boobs! I want to show them off!!

But Me and MY boobs ... like to be well hidden, thank you VERY much.

So, please maternity shirts ... can you make shirts for women that don't want to show their baby food bags? Please? PLEASE!?? Because, there's a lot of hormones going through this body and I would really hate to have to start crying for no reason again.

Thank you,
A 14 week pregnant woman that is finding it harder and harder to cover up this belly bump!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

12 week old belly!

Check out for updates from the baby!

Friday, July 3, 2009

The BIG update

I finally have a little bit of time to sit down and type out my whole update about pregnancy and life and everything in between! YAY ME!

Ever since that little digital sign pointed to "pregnant," Aaron and I feel like we've been running around like a chicken with our head cut off.

First of all, I'll tell everyone the "finding out" story.

You know how some people say that they just "know" that they conceived like the minute that it happened? Well that didn't happen here! Besides some off handed comments such as "Wouldn't it be funny if I were pregnant right after graduation when I told my grandpa that I would make sure to wait until I graduated before I got pregnant?" Or, "Hm, it'd be hilarious if I were pregnant right now ... what with the television being broken and everything" but there wasn't any "woman's intuition" here.

So, I'm going about my business, thinking that I'll be starting at some point in time during the week. I mean, I had the warning cramps and everything! In fact, I remember telling Aaron things like "Man, my period is going to be really bad ... I've been cramping all this week and still nothing!" etc. Finally, one Sunday night (May 31st), I started looking at a calendar and realized "oops! I was supposed to start LAST WEEK!" Hehehehe.

Well, I was about to jump in the shower anyway, so I trotted off to the bathroom and pulled out one of our trusty digital sticks and took a tinkle. Then I set it aside, assuming that it was going to turn negative like all of the others in the past, and undressed. By the time I undressed and went to set my glasses on the counter to step into the shower, the digital screen showed "Pregnant!"

I can't even really describe the feeling! Shock and awe, I guess. I got in the shower and started hosing off ... wondering if I should start crying tears of joy or screaming with excitement! Mainly, it was a lot of confusing "hahs" coming out of my mouth through the entire shower.

Aaron wasn't going to be home for another 30 minutes or so ... so I hopped on the computer looking for clever ways to tell the daddy! OK, more power to all of you women out there that sit around and plan all of these amazing meals for their husbands and candle-lit dinners with "baby back ribs, and baby carrots, and baby peas" etc. But, there was no freaking way that I was going to be able to wait another day or night to tell Aaron!

So, I grabbed a tube of lipstick, Mars from Lancome in case you were wondering, and wrote on my belly "Hi Daddy." Then, I began folding some clothes and waiting for the daddy to come home. He came home, complaining about something that happened at work, tired, and probably a little frustrated. I called him into the bedroom and asked him how his day went ... and then mumbled something about needing to talk to him about something ... finally I just lifted my shirt and let him read the news himself.

He squinted a bit and I think that his jaw hit the floor. "Are you pregnant ... You're pregnant?!!?" I nodded my head and he came over and lifted me up into a huge hug! I asked if he was happy and he said that of COURSE he was ... and that was when the tears finally started to flow.

From then on out ... we've been CRAZY busy!!

We decided to start the process of purchasing a house ... a little bit stressful but we are super excited! We are actually going to be building a house (well, not us ... someone else) and we go on Tuesday to pick out all of our custom designs and such at the design center. YAY!

We are hoping that our house will be ready by the end of October. Otherwise, we are going to need a place to crash because our lease here is up on the 26th! What a lovely birthday present!!!

Also, my due date is set for February 1-3. (I've been getting different dates by different doctors or date wheels) My main doctor says the 1st. But, then again ... those things are usually never accurate right?!

At my nine week appt. I measured at right under an inch ... which he said was right at 9 weeks. The picture above is actually of the 7 week ultrasound, because I don't think that nine week one came out very clear. The 7 week one was done vaginally and the nine week one was done on the stomach ... so the baby still looks very "blobby" :)

We also got a new camera (who knows what happened to our old one) so I am hoping to update with lovely things such as stomach pictures and house pictures and nursery pictures (when we start that whole process) etc.

So look forward to updates later!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Nine weeks of news!

Hello Hello!

Guess who's pregnant :)

I'm nine weeks pregnant and feeling pretty much amazing!

We saw the baby move yesterday in the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat (180 bpm)!! It's so awe-inspiring!

I can't wait to see my baby grow and grow and grow! I look forward to everything!

Even with being a little sick the past couple of days ... it feels great knowing that there is a little baby inside me!

I swear, at some point in time I'll have time for more of an update with pictures and what have you but I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with her head cut off lately!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

In a Rut

I am ... I am ...

I find that nothing that I want to say is worth saying sometimes. So, that's why nothing has been said in ages.

I graduated. Yay. However, I can't help but think how much of a waste going to school really is ... when you can't even find a job in your field. Or, when you apply and you apply and you apply and no one even acknowledges all of your work. I know that if they would just call me back ... they'd love me.

I've lost 32 lbs since the last time that we've talked. However, it hasn't really made me any happier, or made my sex life any better ... which is ultimately why I did it in the first place. I thought that it would make ME happier ... but honestly, I need the positive re-enforcement and the feedback and I'm not just not getting it.

I bought a new car ... an 09 Scion TC RS 5.0. It's number 74 of 2000 made. It's beautiful and amazing and I love it. I think that Aaron is jealous ... Lame.

So, months later and I'm still jobless, struggling with conflicting feelings, but with a cooler car. Hm.

However, maybe I am happier and I just don't realize it? I let the "three year anniversary" of my mom's death come and go ... and didn't even think about it until the next day. That must mean I'm "good" right? That's what I keep telling myself.

However, I also have to think about the fact that my mother kept telling me that depression and bi-polar disorder is a genetic disorder ... and that she was fine until her mid-twenties as well.

Is this the road that I'm headed down? I'd like to think that I'm stronger than that ... I'd like to think that.

I'm on a new kick with the books that I'm reading. Creepy books. The Girl Next Door, American Psycho (which Link apparently didn't like because he ate the cover off of it today) ... they were all on this top 10 list of creepiest books ever read ... I'm working my way through the list ... they are definitely Effed Up. Books that I'd never read again ... but they are good. They keep me interested.

You know ... this is a blog ... and yet I still censor myself. Weird.


Anyway, these are the things that are going through my head this morning at 1:04 AM. -Sigh-


Saturday, April 4, 2009

OK, Seriously.

So, I get it. I don't get to update this thing very often. Mainly because I don't really have anything worth while to say ... and I also really hate sitting in front of the desktop computer and we haven't gotten the laptop fixed.

However, I do have this little tracker thing on the side of my page (because I'm kind of a stalker freak) and I'd like to know who you people are that are from my home town! Please ... thank you.

Seriously. Nederland? Who are you?

Bridge City ... four times? Who are you!?!?

Help a girl out here and leave a comment so that we can be formally introduced. It's freaking me the heck out. I didn't think that this many people from my home town actually knew about this blog or read it.

So ... yeah.

Same for the Conroe person ... who are you!??!

And anyone else actually. Let's just make a broad statement and say that I want to know who everyone is! It'll make things a lot better. I've introduced myself to the world ... now, it's your turn.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My Life Mirrors Jen Lancaster

As a gift for being a great "student" teacher, my mentor gave me Jen Lancaster's second novel "Bright Lights, Big Ass."

I recommended Jen to my mentor teacher earlier in the year because we seemed to have the same (good) taste in books. And right I was, I feel that my mentor (and now friend) have become even closer as we share just exactly how our lives mirror Jen's.

First, let me quickly run through the differences:
1. I do not live in Chicago. I also do not live "in the city" but in a suburb outside of it. I think that it's nice and am a fan of not having to deal with traffic on a daily basis.

2. I unfortunately do NOT own a set of pearls. However, I've been trying to convince my husband that a good teacher needs a good set of pearls. So far, it seems that my persuasion skills need a little more work.

3. Our family life is not the same. She has (obviously) amazing parents. While my father is non-existent and my mother is dead.

And I'm pretty sure those are the only differences between the two of us.

So, here's a few examples of how my life mirrors Jen's:

1. I also think that my dog smells like corn chips. I constantly mention this to the husband and he always gives me a really weird look.

2. I too have tried the "low-carb"/"no-carb" diet and have dreamed about eating cheese dip with slices of cheese, coveted Olive Garden bread sticks, and thought about food while the husband has tried to talk to me about something serious and/or important.

3. I also do the majority of my reading in the bath tub. Apparently so does my mentor ... here's a funny anecdote: After picking up "Such a Pretty Fat" (Jen's third novel), my mentor decided that she wanted to take a bath while reading. She undressed and slowly began to get into the hot water. Just as her foot hit the bottom of the tub, she slipped on something that must have been left behind by her children and dropped the book into the water. Whilst fishing it back out, she screams bloody murder causing her boyfriend to come flying into the bathroom. He finds her completely "nekkid" holding the book in a towel as if it were a small child. Needless to say, the book has been shoved under other books to try and flatten it out and get it ready for "Meet Jen Lancaster day!" Which will happen on May 12th!

4. I've attended Weight Watchers meetings and rolled my eyes when they discuss cake in the work place. Then, I've rolled my eyes when teachers in the teacher's lounge discuss cake in the work place.

5. My animals totally run the house. One sleeps in his own bed and the other sleeps in our bed. We can barely touch each other without her getting in between us for a couple of doggie kisses.

6. I have also blown out the ass of my pants. (I'm actually hoping that the fabric just snagged and ripped a hole ... but we can never be too sure.) Luckily, God made sure that I was wearing black underwear that day so that I wouldn't have to deal with some kind of indecent exposure type thing with my students.

7. I LOVE Chick Lit!

Honestly, the list could go on and on ... but I have some blogs to catch up on and some reading to do. OH, and Lost ... it is Lost day!

So until later, Good night ... hope all is well in the blogger world. Oh, and Jen if you are reading this ... Much Love!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Spring Break -- Relax!

I've finally made it back home from the dear old "home town."

It's nice to be back in my own little one bedroom apartment.

However, while I was gone ... not only did I get to spend Monday thru this morning with my adorable little nephew, Kaleb ... but I also finished three books!

Right now, I'm reading Jen Lancaster's book "Bright Lights, Big Ass." I can not tell you people enough how much I freaking LOVE her.

In fact, once I'm finished with this book ... I'm going to have to give you a complete run down on how much I love her, and why we should spend all of our time together because we are so much a like!

The similarities are unreal! You'll see. You will.

Tonight, I'll be hitting up the Tomball Job Fair. I've got my suit (and three different colored shirts, which will ensure that I will not look like I'm wearing the same thing if I get called back for another interview or two) prepared, and my resumes printed, and I'm ready to go.

And then I remembered ... hm ... probably should take off the extremely chipped black finger nail polish and choose something less "modern and hip" ... so I'm going with clear. It'll look brilliant on my fantastically wonderful real nails that I do not pay over 20 dollars a month to have (I am SO lucky!)

Then, I will need to decide which colors to wear for eye shadows and gloss.

I'll also be driving in style in the Scion. (Is that how you spell that??)

Aaron has decided that he will now be driving my civic (with a new transmission ... she has become VERY expensive) and I will be driving his new (11 month old) baby. I'm fine with it! I can plug in my ipod now ... I can listen to CDs ... I can change the set stations to MY favorite stations ... and it's a pretty awesome little thing!

However, this means that I will not be able to buy my wonderful little Accord with the sun roof and the keyless entry and the blue tooth already built in for a while. And ... I'm sad. But, what's a girl to do. We are trying to save up to buy a house, we are trying to save up so that Aaron can get a masters in education so that he will have a "back up plan" just in case his company wants to move him to Omaha ... because I mean ... "NO!" ... and we are also wanting a Baaaaayyyyybbbbbeeeee. :)

So, I'll rock out in the Scion for a while ... no biggie. Although, now I really wish I would have convinced him to get the pretty dark blue color ... the dark reddish brown color that he has is kind of getting old.

Alright. So I still have a lot of things that need to be discussed ... and I promise that I will soon get to them. Although, I'll be gone for the weekend because we are going to the lake ... don't think that I am leaving you guys again for nearly a month. I'm not! I promise!!!


Monday, March 9, 2009

How many weeks has it been now?

I know. I get it.

I'm supposed to post my feelings and little anecdotes here. More than I do.

I need to do this if I want to eventually get some kind of a following one day. (which I do ... go and tell your friends)

However, when I sit in front of the computer at home ... (not the laptop because Link tried to kill himself by eating through the cord) ... I feel like there are a million and one other things that I need to be doing ...

These things include ... but are not limited to:
Lesson plans
Mourning the loss of my car (more on that ... hm ... I don't want to give a set date. Soon?)
Spending time with my husband
Taking the dogs outside for a run
Working out
Eating healthy
Catching up on my filling DVR

Basically ... not blogging.

I really want to though. I do! I promise!!

So, I will. Starting this week.

I'm here at my grandpa's house for the next couple of days. It's Spring Break (much needed!!) and I have nothing to do all day except plan lessons, read books, play with little Kaleb (hopefully), and blog!

So, I want to say that you will see more of me.

I want to.

But we'll see.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Whoa, Sorry.

Sorry for my lack of posting as of late.

I was finishing up my Teacher Work Sample and getting it all submitted.

I was also going out with friends and having a lovely time of it.

In other words ... I didn't have time for you, blogspot. And I'm sorry.

Things to come:

Our "Observation" of "Lent."
Puking, and why it sucks.
A happy dance because Jen Lancaster is coming HERE!
Losing weight?
and other things that I'll blog about at a later time.

I hope that all have been well and that you haven't missed me much lately :)

Monday, February 16, 2009

A MeMe!

Not for lack of creativity ... mainly for lack of drive ... I post this. Enjoy it ... and ask me if you'd like to be interviewed also.

1. How/when did you know that you wanted to marry Aaron?
-- I don't know if there was an exact time that I knew that I wanted to marry Aaron. He made me happy throughout our time together and it was just something that I could see in our future. Everything just fit together perfectly. I loved him, I loved him family, I loved our relationship, I loved everything about "US." So it was just natural that we would eventually get married. Aaron says that he knew that he wanted to marry me when I went with his family and him on vacation. But, maybe I just always knew ... things were just so great.
2. Why do you want to be a teacher?
--I want to be a teacher so that I can make a difference in someone's life. I know, I know, that's the bull-crap answer, but it's true. I think that I will be a good teacher and I think that my kids will actually get something out of what I have to offer. I look forward to shaping the youth of America.
3. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could have one book series (or set by an author), what would it be?
--It would definitely be the Harry Potter series. I read it at least once a year and there is no way that I could do without it if stuck on a deserted island. Right now, I'm also reading the Inkheart series ... which is actually pretty good ... but nothing can beat Harry Potter.
4. What cancelled TV show do you most miss?
--Hm, I'm going to have to go with Pushing Daisies on this one. I just thought that that show was so beautiful and sweet. Every time I finished watching it, I had a smile on my face. It was a great fairy tale type show and it was very colorful and bright, which you don't find on television that often. I think that it is stupid for them to have canceled it ... all they are running now on that channel and that time is re-runs of Scrubs. Ugh.
5. If you could go on a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
--I would like to go and tour a couple of places. For instance, I want to do the Sound of Music tour where they take you around Austria. I'd also like to go on the Harry Potter tour, so that I can see the awesome castle that it was filmed in and stuff like that. I'm a big nerd ... I know. But, I really could go just about anywhere on vacation as long as Aaron was with me :)

Leave me a comment saying that you want to be interviewed and I'll do just that!
To play along:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by sending you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Like a teenager.

On Valentine's day at that.

But it's the adorable little nephew and so I don't mind.

Stay tuned for 5 questions answered! (Hopefully tomorrow)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Animal Crossing -- My love

I have had a love/hate relationship with Animal Crossing since it was introduced to me way back in the day (five or more years ago). At that time it was on the Nintendo Gamecube ... which I bought mainly to impress Aaron who wasn't my boyfriend at the time. (Silly Girl!)

I loved it! It's a cute-sy little game that has little animal people that live in these little houses and always want you to mail them letters with gifts in them. You've just moved into the town and you are trying to pay off your ridiculous mortgage (somewhere around 20,000 "bells" for a measly little shack.) You spend your time picking up shells, digging up fossils, fishing, or other forms of shopping. The prettier you make your town the more hilarious characters will join in! It's pretty much awesome.

It has loads of characters that are absolutely hilarious and are always "up to no good." I played it for a good while on the "cube," to the delight of my grandpa who just wanted me to fish all the time! But, it started getting a little boring. It's set in real time ... so when it's 11:48 in the real world ... it's 11:48 in their world too. If it's winter ... it's snowing there (Oh, how I wish it would snow more than a freak accident in December here!) If it's spring, there are butterflies and bees flying all over the place there. But ... if you mess with the time (you know, to get away from your own life for a second) a little character comes and yells at you about messing with the time/space continuum. So, I put it away.

But then it came out for the DS! I LOVE my DS, mind you. I have so much fun playing games like Zoo Keeper (which is kind of like bejewled, but with cute-sy little animals) ((Maybe, I just have a thing for cute-sy little animals ... but I digress.)) Or Professor Laythom's blah blah blah ... something about a curious village. (This one is a logic game ... and I love logic puzzles ... and these are actually pretty freaking difficult!) So, anyway ... Animal Crossing came to the DS! Both Aaron and I picked it up ... along with all of his dear friends and we had a blast! We would party at each others towns, swap fruit with each other so that we could get more fruit in our towns, send each other mail (which is always fun), and mainly just enjoy ourselves. Animal Crossing EVEN spawned Aaron's nickname for me "Cute Face." One of the little animals always called me that in the game and he thought it was funny ... I thought it was adorable ... and so it's stuck! But ... it got old again. New games came out that he wanted to play, I was busy with school, or television, or reading, or something else, and my DS sat on the shelf unplayed.

But THEN Animal Crossing was going to come out on the WII! I got SOOOO EXCITED! All the commercials sounded so cool and all that jazz ... so we "reserved" our copy of it and I planned on getting it for Christmas. But Aaron's friends said that it was basically the same game as on the DS and that the DS one was much more fun. So, Aaron said that he didn't want to get it for the Wii ...and I was sad. UNTIL YESTERDAY!

Yesterday, after having a healthy meal (and my first after my bout of flu) at Jason's Deli, we went to the gamestop and switched the 5 dollars from Animal Crossing on the Wii and put it towards Animal Crossing on the DS ... AGAIN!

I'm so excited! I've named my character, Cute face of course, and she has brown eyes and pink hair (this is all done randomly), and my town is called "Avonlee." I love it! It comes with a few characters to get you started ... they each have their own personalities that crack me up:

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Introducing CESAR!

He has a bad attitude most of the time. Even when he wants to talk to you ... he pretends that he doesn't and usually brushes you off quickly. Today, he asked me what my favorite part of my body was and I said "My Rump" (Because it is!) and he got extremely flustered and red ... telling me that he didn't need to hear about THOSE parts of my body. Hilarious!

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This is Pecan!

I think that we are going to be great friends. She reminds me a lot of "Bunni" which is the one that gave me the Cute Face nickname to begin with. Pecan loves getting mail and gifts and is always talking about how cute her house is and asking how her makeup looks. I think that we are going to be great friends ... (because well ... I love cute-sy little animals remember?)

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And here is Teddy!

He is "out for a run" all the time and always tells me that I'm getting a little chubby (yeah, I know Teddy ... that's why I've been going to the gym lately ... OK?) He usually calls me "Beef Cake" and sometimes gets into a serious roid rage. But, it's all in good fun.

And finally ... we have my new character. She just moved in today and I haven't been able to get to know her because she's been unpacking all day. She says that I can visit with her tomorrow ... so until then ... who knows.

Anyway, another cool thing about this game is that you get little letters from your mom. She tells you how much that she is missing you and gives you little gifts. I haven't received a letter from my mom yet ... but when I do ... I'll be so excited ... especially since my mom is unable to actually send me a real letter ...

So. If you have a DS ... get out and get this game ... then give me your code so that we can play in each other's towns!

Until then ... I leave you with this wonderful wonderful wonderful video.

Friday, February 6, 2009

It Takes All Kinds

My new year's resolution was to get fit this year. For real this time. Seriously.

Aaron gets a free membership to 24 hour fitness with his work. My membership is only 20 dollars a month. So ... we've been going nearly every day since December 27th.

I've encountered a lot of people. There are all kinds there. Really.

So, here's my list of people that you will probably find at a public gym:

1. The serious workers: These are the people that I aspire to be one day. They are slim. They are fit. And they work hard at both. You'll find these people doing what they are supposed to do. They work out cardio and move on to some weights. Their muscles are a normal size and are tone. They keep to themselves and usually listen to music on their Ipod.

2. The Muscles: These are the kind of people (usually men) that I can hardly stand. They are usually huge in the arms and shoulders with a pot belly and chicken legs. These people are always looking to show off. For instance, not only will they put the highest weight possible on the machine ... they'll add some to the machine even though they aren't supposed to. These people always look around to check and see if anyone is watching before they start lifting their heavy load. They always want an audience.

3. The Desperate Housewife: We get a lot of these in this area, mainly because it's a rich area with a lot of women that are stay at home-ers with nothing else to do but "get fit." These women usually have had lipo-suction done, bo-tox, and plastic surgery boobs, and still pay hundreds of dollars for a personal trainer. An actual trainer has said "They all have lipo and fake boobs so I really don't have to do much of anything." They like to head to the gym in full make up with their hair fixed. They prance around in short shorts and bra tops showing their not worked for bodies. Lovely.

4. The Slutty McSlutterstein's: These are the girls that wear bikini's while in the pool, spa, or saunas. Their boobs (fake or not) are constantly on show and they know it. These women usually get a lot of male attention which they seem to enjoy greatly. I never see them working out in the gym area. They stay in the "wet area" to make sure that those around them can view their goodies. -Rolls eyes-

5. The under-agers: Once again, I'm not sure if this is because we live in the area that we live in and every parent gives their kid a gym membership or what ... but it's very prevalent in our gym. These are also usually female. I say female because the male under-agers usually are working out. In fact, there are some under-agers that actually work out ... but there are a few (the ones that I'm talking about) that are only there for "the boys." These under-agers sit in the sauna with a lot of clothes on so that they draw attention to themselves. Then they begin conversations with their accomplice under-ager about how they should just "not eat ... or throw up." Something that will draw the attention to them. Then they talk about their parent's owning liquer stores. I've yet to see these under-agers leave the sauna area to actually work out. But they are there nearly every day ... talking to a new boy every time.

6. The clueless: These are the people that are the gym and have NO idea what they are doing there. They need help figuring out how to work the elliptical machine and usually pay for a personal trainer to get help. They walk around aimlessly trying to figure out how to do different things and once they figure it out ... they are still slow working it.

And then there is me. I get on the Elliptical for 30 minutes and rock out on my ipod. I lift weights for about 20 minutes afterwards and then I spend about 10 minutes in the steam room or sauna. Where does this place me? ... In "The Awesome" crowd :)

Because that's me ... I'm awesome.

Check out MORE "Very Funny Fridays" HERE!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I got my pillow!

I won an awesome pillow from Mormon Mommy Blogs!

Now, it resides on our bed and it's lovely!

I'd post a picture of it ... but I'm sick. And tired.

(reminds me of an old Cosby stand-up)

Anyway ... I'll post it later. When I get up. Or after I go to sleep and wake up again. Or ... later.

But know this, I'm super duper grateful!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Today is the Day

Today is the last day for birth control!!!

I've been on the ring for a while now ... a year or so? Before that I was on the pill ... etc. etc. etc.

But no longer! I'm done with the ring as of today!

We are going to wait a couple of months to let the birth control completely get out of my system and start trying around April-Mayish.

Getting pregnant this summer would be absolutely PERFECT! But getting pregnant period would be perfect too!

I'm so excited to start this new time in our lives!!!!!!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I love you ...

Is this little guy not the cutest?? Now he's a little over a year old and he thinks that he is a big boy.

He hates annoying singers on American Idol. When he hears them squealing off key, he stops squeaking his toy and stares at the screen with a "seriously?" look on his face.

He loves getting new dental bones. In fact, the other night ... Nakomis (our bird eating, scared to poop chihuahua) had just wrestled his bone away from him and was eating it smugly in front of him. So, he planned it out and slowly starting sneaking up on her. When she looked up he averted his eyes as if to say "Nope, I'm not going after that bone!" I thought it was hilarious! He also talks with Emily the cat and gets her to walk into the room to make Nakomis nervous and lunge at her. This frees up the bone and he swoops in for the win.

He loves the laptop and tries to lay his little head on the "warm spots."

He makes little noises when he yawns. It's absolutely adorable.

When I go to get ice out of the freezer, he runs into the kitchen and waits patiently for me to hand him a small piece of ice.

Before he turned one and was no longer a "puppy," we had said that we might allow him to sleep outside of his cage/bed. But, when it actually came down to his birthday ... we forgot. He barked in his cage for a week after wards, as if he knew that we were supposed to let him sleep outside of his cage after he turned one and we didn't hold up our end.

Right now, he is curled up in my Aaron's lap dreaming about stealing dental bones from his nemesis Nakomis with the help of his side kick - Emily the cat.

Monday, January 26, 2009

It's Called an Honor Society for a REASON

I'm in my student teaching semester, right? Which I guess doesn't quite qualify me to be "Little Miss English Teacher" until May ... but my old blog name blatantly spelled out my name and I didn't want any snot-nosed kids trying to find my blog and "ruin me." Or something or another.

Anyway, my mentor teacher is the NHS sponsor for the school. A couple of weeks ago, two girls that are senior members of NHS were caught cheating. In fact, they were caught cheating by the president of NHS. *STUPID!*

So, they were sent down to the AP's office, they immediately burst into tears and confessed.

The Honor Society has to have a formal meeting to kick out students and they really had all that they needed ... the students confessed to cheating ... it was a done deal! Or not.

Apparently, one of the parents claims that they were not given sufficient time to attend the formal meeting to dismiss an honor student from the program. They also claim that the student was interrogated for an hour and a half and that her words were misconstrued and that she didn't confess to anything. The parent also claims that when the student went to attend the meeting, the sponsor told her that it wasn't going to matter either way and she just mine as well not waste her time because they were going to kick her out either way.

Great job, "honor student." How about we add LIAR to your ever growing resume of unethical qualities.

So, I can't wait to find out how things go. It's not really going to matter one way or another. They have the proof. They have a confession. Cut and dry!

I tell you what though ... the parents at the school that I teach at are crazy about NHS. There is another parent that continually emails the sponsor and counselor for NHS because her daughter has a 3.95 GPA but requires a 4.0 to be in NHS. The parent can't understand why her daughter can't be admitted. "Well, Lady ... if the bylaws say 4.0 ... it's a 4.0 not a 3.95." If the other 150 students that just got inducted can maintain a 4.0 ... she'll have to do the same ...

It's called an Honor Society for a REASON, people!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

3D: The wave of the future?

We just renewed our new lease on our quaint little one bedroom with a study. You know the one ... where we live over the frat boys? (In fact, we encountered one of them today and I think that they named their dog "Lil' SH**. I say this because that was all he could call it when our dogs and his dog wanted to play.)

Anyway, we aren't ready to buy a house just yet so we are going to sign a lease for 7 months. Well, we told them that we wanted our carpets cleaned since we were going to renew. They agreed ... which means that we had to be out of the house today between 10-12. We didn't leave the house until about 10:45 ... but that's no big thing because apparently they didn't come until around 12 anyway.

We decided to skip yoga this morning and instead catch My Bloody Valentine in 3d. We wanted to go early to this showing because if we would have gone tonight then we would have had to pay an extra 1.75 which I think is ridiculous.

So we get there ... and have popcorn for breakfast ... and make it in the theatre just in time to see the sign that says "Put your 3d glasses on now, please." We comply.

Now, I am not sure how I feel about 3d being the wave of the future. Aaron has read articles that state that there could start being 3d televisions! I worry about this because I like to watch television in my glasses and my PJs and don't want to have to worry about putting on my contacts just so that I can wear the 3d glasses (like I had to do this morning ... ouch my eyes!)

Or, if they decide that they are going to have more 3d movies out (which they seem to be going towards ...) I think that they should not have as many horror movies be in 3d. Because when something is flying at my face at break neck speeds ... I tend to close one eye in fright (yeah, big baby ... that's me) and then it completely ruins the shot.

Oops. I forgot that both eyes needed to be open to see the effects. My bad. Next time an axe is headed towards my head, I'll try to remember that.

So, in other words ... My Bloody Valentine was actually a good movie. I liked the 3d. It wasn't cheesy 3d ... you know where they throw popcorn or other stupid stuff at the screen to try and get a rise out of the audience ... No, it was really good 3d. I just have to remember not to wince because I'm scared that the bullet, or axe, or other form of weapon that is flying at my head is not really a real object. Duh.

But ... I couldn't see a romance in 3d ... what would they make come out of the screen at you? Her huge diamond rock?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Very Funny Friday

Alright, so this is my first time to do one of these things that they call a ... Carnival? I guess that makes me a Carnie. Nice ... something that I've always aspired to ...

Anyway ... it's crazy early in the morning. I'm sitting here in jeans and the tank top that I went to bed in. My hair wasn't blow dried last night which makes it all over my freaking head so I'm waiting for the straightener to load up.

I have clothes on the floor ... my teeth aren't brushed yet ... (WHAT?! I just finished eating some cereal!) ... and I really need to get my butt in gear if I'm going to leave my house at a reasonable time. (6:30)

And yet ... I love my blog SO MUCH ... that I'm going to try this whole thing and see if I can get some readers to love it too!

Unfortunately ... as it's so early in the morning ... I don't have anything "very funny" to post. That's new ...

So, I'm going to post my favorite post that I've ever had ... I'm sure that you haven't read it yet ... so you should enjoy it.

This was written back in 2005 ...

Friday, April 08, 2005

Are you a cheater?

Fess up now. RIGHT NOW! Have you ever cheated?

Don't start giving me...well I was drunk....and...stuff...just...

No I mean have you ever cheated in school!?

A thought occurred to me as I was walking to a class all alone yesterday (I have to occasionally talk to myself just so I'm not lonely :) ) I've been in College for two years now and I have never ONCE cheated. Not once. Not even on homework (which could probably be because I don't know anyone in my classes well enough to be like.."You...right one...give up the homework!")

Have any of YOU cheated in college?

Lemme just tell you that I was an AVID cheater in Highschool...dude I cheated on EVERYTHING! Especially after my freshman year when a friend of mine and I were falsely accused of cheating on some homework. So I figure...eff it....if I'm gonna get blamed for it I mine as well start doing it yah think?

I had the cheating DOWN!

Ways to Cheat 101:

1) Have someone in the class ahead of you write down the answers to the scantron on a small slip of paper and slip it to you between classes.

2) Roll up a sheet of paper with the answers on it and stick it inside your pen. Then sit in the back of the room and undo your pen after the "cheater check" was complete.

3) Wear long sleeves and write the answers on your arms and your palm and then sit in the back of the class and enjoy making an A.

4) **Added by This beautiful lady** Make a bracelet with the answers on it and during the "Cheater Check" just turn the bracelet inside out! (BRILLIANCE I tell you)

5) And my personal favorite..(which I shall demonstrate..)


One skirt (Make sure it's regulation length because if you get busted by the dress code police, it is NOT my fault dude.)

One clean thigh (Must be clean btw) Hm Depending on how big the test is you might need TWO thighs.

One felt tip marker. Don't get one that's gonna smear or smudge. Because if your gonna go through with this there might be alittle sweating/glistening/glittering/perspiring (whatever it is you wanna call it) involved.

Now, if you havn't already guessed what your going to do lemme break it down for you. You make yourself alittle cheat sheet on your thigh(s) and then wear a skirt to school that day. The desk totally covers your legs You can just lift up your skirt and get the answers that you don't already have memorized!

BTW: It is NOT my fault if you get busted doing this...obviously your just not slick enough and will have to continue practicing young grasshopper!

BOYS/GUYS/MEN: Unfortunantly I don't think this form of cheating will work with you but I did give you three other options to try out!

So for those of you in Highschool...there yah go.

And for those of you in College or out of College .... Did you cheat in college?

PSH Because *I* damn sure won't! To afraid something horrible will happen!!

Don't "Cheat" yourself out of a great FRIDAY!!

Have fun this weekend!! <3<3<3

See ... wasn't that hilarious? I think so. Especially since I'm an English Teacher now ... giving instructions (with pictures) on how to cheat in my classroom. Nice.

Check out more "Very Funny Friday's" HERE

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Blast from the past

I thought that this was a good idea ... after seeing it on Christin's site ...

So, I went back to look at all of my old XANGA stuff and picked out some GOLDEN posts :)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005


See that? That little SPECK? That red mark of DEATH! Well I hate that And in tribute of hating periods, I'm not going to be using ANY for this post I will still skip the appropriate spaces and capitalize as if the gross speck of pain was still there however I will NOT use the Period to end ANY of my sentences today

Why you may ask? Why the period? What HAS it done to you?

IT is the reason for my nausea yesterday

IT is the reason for my cramping today

IT is the reason that I feel YUCKY and just want to lay around and mope because my uterus could very well be thrown up at any point in time that it feels apt to do so

So I'm going on a period STRIKE And you all should!

Follow the masses!! Stop the PERIODS


Thank you for your time That is all


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Channel 1: S.T.D News

A brilliant idea coming forth from my glorious boyfriend as he watched tv yesterday.

He says to me yesterday "Baby, You know how they have that public access channel?" I nod my head, remembering many a night that I watched that because nothing else was on...

"Well I think that they should make Channel One or something like STD Channel." O.O "A WHAT Channel Aaron?" "An STD Channel my darling" (Okay this isn't exactly how the conversation went...but it's how it goes in my head...I mentally add all the pet names in) "An STD Channel hm? How would that work exactly" "Well let me tell you, peanut"

And this is how it would go:

They would have a banner at the top that said "THIS PERSON GAVE SOMEONE STD'S" And then they would have a picture of the person and a location of the person that has STD'S. This way not only will you be able to STEER CLEAR but you can even keep away from that certain AREA...because who knows who it had been passed on to since the original person got it.


A co-worker of Aaron's chimes in "Man, who would watch that?"

Aaron, Me, and two other people that happened to be in the store at the time speak up with "I WOULD!"

I mean wouldn't that be effing interesting?! Getting to see public humiliation in the finest? I'd probably be sitting back with a year book on a regular basis just marking off people with STD'S!

Heck they put Sexual Offenders in the paper! And STD Givers are DEFINANTLY SEXUAL OFFENDERS!!!

Your thoughts on the matter?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Nakomis = Murderer

Put on your shocked faces people....This cute little dog is Wanted...for MURDER!

(See how her eyes are glowing...that's because she has the DEVIL in her)

Recently...I found her in the dining room area, toying with an extremely pissed off lizard that she had caught. It managed to stay alive long enough for me to reprimand her and pick it up and put it back outside into it's habitat.

But she's become smarter.

She waited until I left to go over to Aaron's last night and when my grandpa let her out before they went to bed apparently she drug in two baby birds. And KILLED them.

That's right she killed two baby birds last night, put them in the dining room on display (just like a serial killer so that she could show them off to others) and then crawled in bed with my grandpa as if she were the same sweet little girl that he knew her to be.

This morning when we woke up, there the birds were, one bird in the walkway to the dining room and the other one in a proper burial ground by the plant. She was dancing around them as if she was a witch doctor or some other foul being of the night.

I'm worried...who knows what she'll bring in next? It's a scary thought that you can't even trust your dog around other animals that are smaller than she is. Soon she'll be bringing in squirrels or something *gasp* What will we do then!?

Thursday, June 02, 2005

6 AM Bargains and a Mickey Mouse Jumper

Imagine. Your in bed, dreaming peacefully and the blast of an alarm clock grabs you from your slumber. It's 6 am. And you have a job to do. You pull yourself out of bed and fumble for your glasses as you stare begrudgingly at the clock.

A shuffle across the thin apartment carpet lands you into the hall bathroom, you wash your face and take care of the morning pee. A knock at the door forces you to realize there is yet another sleepy young lady needing to take care of necessities as well. You let her in and you stumble to the living room, still trying to wipe the sleep from your caked eyes. You can hear the bathroom door open, ya'll pass each other in the hall way as you head back to the bathroom to finish with the preparation of morning. This morning you plan on looking like shit. Hell it's only garage sale people right? Ummhmm..a garage sale.

After watching a few videos on MTV and sliding on your flipflops both girls are ready to go. It is now 6:28.

Pulling into the driveway of the garage sale you notice a crowd of people. "What the fuck" quickly slips from your lips before you have the time to think about it. Both girls leave the safety of the vehicle ready to face the crowd of bargainers. And so your Wednesday morning begins. This 50 dollars better be worth it.

The neighbor finally manages to unlock the door and the garage door gets opened quickly. Thank God, otherwise the impatient garage sale vultures were getting fidgety.

It goes off without a hitch. The people come, and go and buy and bargain. ((Which is really annoying btw)) Both girls and the neighbor move things out into the driveway, and move the pool table from the backyard. As such occurrences take place...the neighbor comes out of his haunted abode.

"Someone's going to have to move this car." "This FUCKING pisses me OFF" "Someone's parked in my *Expletive* yard."

The two girls are shocked. It had been a while since they had heard an old man talk such way. What a morning this was shaping up to be.

There were men who wanted boxes full of stuff for 20 dollars. Don't think so.

There were women that wanted Manolo heels for 1.50. They got them for 3.

And most of all...there was a woman that wanted a singer sewing machine that had never been used for 5 dollars. It was sold to someone else for 8. What? The other lady was nicer!

Lunch was exquisite and the rains called people off after 1:30. Which is when the Mickey Mouse jumper was found...and questions about an ex boss quickly arose. Where did she get such a mickey mouse jumper? And how often was it worn?

After 3 pm, the bank was counted and a whopping 690 dollars made. Eff yes, The 50 dollars was worth it. And there will be more bargains to be had Saturday morning from 7 - 12. Be there or be square.

I'll post more later ... enjoy these for now :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I just found out about the amazing website that is Etsy and went a LITTLE crazy with my buying.

Not only did I buy a few things NOT Harry Potter ... but I bought a lot of stuff that relates TO Harry Potter!!!

Such as:

My Harry Potter Charm Bracelet ...

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My Golden (but Silver) Snitch Necklace ...

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and FINALLY ... My Harry Potter PURSE!!

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And the wallet ...

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Thanks ETSY! I love you!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Get out there and EAT!

Alright girls. Here is something that you should know ... men like you a little "rounder," a little "healthier," a little "more to love."

Believe me. I've done a survey. I've asked around. Guys like to envision their women as a woman that is going to be strong enough to bear their children. They want them to have wider hips ... a healthy weight.

I'm not saying that they all want women that are over-weight because that isn't it at all. But they do want women that are healthy and confident in their body image.

So why do you girls think that it is OK to starve yourself? Why do you think that it is OK to not give yourself the nutrients that you need? How is this helping things?

I'm sick of not eating what I want to eat. I'm sick of skipping a meal because I think that in the long run it's going to do me some good. It's not going to do me any good. I have a bad body image, really. I look at myself in the mirror and see all of the flaws, I do.

I know that I need to lose weight ... so I go to the gym nearly every single day for about a hour. I know that I need to lose weight ... so I chose not to eat that ice cream cone.

I know all of these things. But I also know that I am not going to get down to my "goal weight" by starving myself. I'm not going to get down to my "goal weight" by not giving my body the food that it needs to survive.

So what is it girls? Do you want to be healthy ... or do you want to be skinny? Do you want to be able to have children? Or do you want to be bone thin? Do you want to eat healthy food? Or do you want to skip meals so that your bones can show through?

I hope that you chose being healthy, being able to have children, and eating healthy food. I don't think that God put you on this planet to torture yourself.

Get out there ... and eat!

(And then work out!)

Monday, January 19, 2009


I am a volunteer for "The Family & Friend Network." This means that I have the opportunity to visit children that have a disability. I can read to them, help around the house ... basically just be a friend.

I met my "friend" today.

Now, here is my confession.

This scares the crap out of me.

The young girl has cerebral palsy and is not vocal. She is in a wheel chair and plays with toys that are stimulating. She has had a history of seizures. All of these things I am scared of.

I worry that I might be there and she will have a seizure.

I don't know what I am going to be able to occupy her time with. She can not really tell me the things that she wants. I like reading aloud ... but I'm not sure what would be the things that she would like to hear.

I don't know. I don't want to come off as selfish ... I don't want anyone to think that I am not compassionate enough ... because I am. I think that I might be too compassionate. Looking at her makes my stomach ache with compassion.

What is she thinking about ...
Does she know what is really going on ...
Is she happy ...
Is she miserable ...

I guess that I have a lot to think about before I decide whether or not this match is for me. Aaron says that the more I spend with her the more comfortable I will be.
I think so.

But I worry that I won't ... and then what would she feel like knowing that I didn't want her to be my friend?

Free SWAG!

Check out: HERE for some awesomely awesome free-ness!!!

I'm getting ready to go and meet my little lady with Cerebral Palsy today. I'm looking forward to it!! I'll post about it all tonight!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I am ...

I am ... a daughter ... born R_____ Darlene P_______, to a single 17 year old mother on a warm night at the beginning of October. I was the most beautiful baby that my grandfather had ever seen, all perfect and pink, crying and peeing as the air of the new world enveloped me. My mother never got on her feet ... I moved in with my grandparents at the age of four ... I've never known my father.

I am ... a sister ... even if it's only half. I have a 19 year old brother who is the (hopefully) loving father of a beautiful baby boy. They live in his wife's mother's house ... hours away from me, and I miss my lovely little nephew.

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I am ... a wife ... to an amazing man that I can not wait to share the rest of my life with. He makes my days brighter and I fall more and more in love with him every day.

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I am ... a Christian ... and I love the Lord.

I am ... an in-law ... to an amazing family. My husband's family is the best family I could have ever asked for. His mother is perfect. There is absolutely nothing bad about her. She is the perfect woman. I aspire to be like her and to raise my children as well as she raised hers.

I am ... a niece ... to an aunt that died suddenly and another whom I am still trying to get along with.

I am ... a granddaughter ... to an amazing man and late woman. My grandfather has hung the moon. He is what I looked for in a man ... and found in Aaron. My grandfather has a place next to God. He is a saint. I love him dearly.

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I am ... a cousin ... though we don't see each other very much at all. Our family isn't like Aaron's ... and that makes me sad sometimes.

I am ... an aunt ... to two BEAUTIFUL little boys born four days apart from each other.

I am ... a friend ... that will never let you down. I strive to be a best friend and one that you can trust. I will always be there for them ... even if I have to sleep on their floor for a week when they need me the most.

I am ... ALMOST a college graduate ... which I will utilize by teaching the youth of America. I want to make a difference.

I am ... a dreamer ... although I do not know if I have the drive or the confidence to make those dreams a reality.

I am ... a survivor ... tragedy has made me into the woman that I am ... or so I like to think.

I am ... an optimist ... I always see that the glass is half full. I love knowing that there will always be more drink in my cup of life.

Friday, January 16, 2009

My first day of student teaching ... hilarity ensues ...

Disclaimer: The following post will involve spoilers of the literary classic Of Mice and Men. If you have not read it or seen the movie ... skip over the *******'d parts.

I started student teaching on Monday. I'll graduate in May and I'll officially be a real live English teacher!

However, I've never read John Steinbeck's classic Of Mice and Men (As of Monday.)

Aaron has been after me to read it for a while now and refused to tell me the ending.

So, I get into class and I'm good for the first two periods because it's Pre-AP and they aren't doing the same curriculum as the regular classes. But here comes third period.

Not only are they watching Of Mice and Men but it's at the END of the movie.

I'm not really paying much attention because I'm talking with my teacher and I'm trying to learn the ropes and what have you and I just happened to look over just as *********George kills Lennie******** the end of the movie happens. I audibly gasp and BURST INTO TEARS.

That's right. I start crying in the middle of a class of tenth graders that I had just barely met. So they are start saying "Um, Ms. H .... your new teacher is crying ...." "What's the matter new teacher ... don't cry ..."

Alright. So here comes fourth period. It's like a train wreck! I have to watch it more to find out exactly what happened. Which makes it even WORSE.

************I started crying just as I realize that the reason that George is going to have to kill Lennie is so that the other people don't end up lynching him for accidentally killing Curley's Wife. (Just thinking about how scared Lennie would be if those boys would have caught him makes me literally sick to my stomach)*****************

So, now I'm REALLY crying! Once again the kids freak out ... my teacher is like "Oh no, I'm so sorry! I can't believe that I didn't warn you the first time we watched it!"

So, yeah ... I boo-hoo cried in front of my students on my first day of student teaching. Nice.

By the way ... this story is probably much funnier when I tell it in person. Aaron maintains that it's the best story that I've told in a while!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Letters continued ...


I write this letter during a time that I feel better about your death. Just a few weeks ago, I don’t think that I could have gotten through this letter without breaking down into tears. It’s weird. After two years … you think that living without my mom would get easier. It doesn’t.

I mean, what did you ever do for me anyway? All of the things that you said that you would do … usually never happened. Do you know how many times I waited and MawMaw’s and PawPaw’s for you to come by and pick me up, but something else more important came up and you never showed?

For most of my life, I wasn’t the daughter … I was the mother. I had to be the strong one while you fell into your pills and “depression.” That year and a half that I lived with you nearly was my downfall. Dreading the ride home because I never knew if you were going to be still in bed … or if you were going to be bright eyed on the couch waiting to get home and be the mother that you were always supposed to be.

And yet, this is still difficult. Every day, waking up and knowing that you aren’t just a phone call away. When I used to get into an argument with someone, you would always be the one that I could call and you would just agree with everything that I said … whether I was in the wrong or not. I still need that sometimes to this day … and you aren’t there for me.

My brother, your son, just had a beautiful baby boy and he’ll never know his grandma. All because you were so selfish! Why mom? Why? I thought that you were finally getting your life together. We all that you were in a good place in your life, finally … after 38 years of struggling. And then we get that surprise phone call and nothing has been the same since.

Do you know what you are missing out on? Do you know how much I miss you? Do you know how much I want to crawl into your lap like a little girl and smell your smell? I miss being close to you. I miss watching television together. I miss all of our talks. I miss all of our arguments. I miss you so much, it makes my bones hurt. I have this deep ache for you, and I can’t figure out why.

I don’t have the closure maybe. But I don’t know if I will ever have the closure … how can I have closure when I don’t even know what happened or why?

Help me, Momma. Help me to be the woman that you always wanted me to be. Help me to take the hurt that I have and turn it into something that can be productive. Help me to love you without the anger. Help me to miss you without the anger. Help me to get over this grief.

I love you and I miss you more than I ever thought possible,
Your daughter … who is now a wife, an aunt, and a teacher … all things that you never got to see.