Friday, February 6, 2009

It Takes All Kinds

My new year's resolution was to get fit this year. For real this time. Seriously.

Aaron gets a free membership to 24 hour fitness with his work. My membership is only 20 dollars a month. So ... we've been going nearly every day since December 27th.

I've encountered a lot of people. There are all kinds there. Really.

So, here's my list of people that you will probably find at a public gym:

1. The serious workers: These are the people that I aspire to be one day. They are slim. They are fit. And they work hard at both. You'll find these people doing what they are supposed to do. They work out cardio and move on to some weights. Their muscles are a normal size and are tone. They keep to themselves and usually listen to music on their Ipod.

2. The Muscles: These are the kind of people (usually men) that I can hardly stand. They are usually huge in the arms and shoulders with a pot belly and chicken legs. These people are always looking to show off. For instance, not only will they put the highest weight possible on the machine ... they'll add some to the machine even though they aren't supposed to. These people always look around to check and see if anyone is watching before they start lifting their heavy load. They always want an audience.

3. The Desperate Housewife: We get a lot of these in this area, mainly because it's a rich area with a lot of women that are stay at home-ers with nothing else to do but "get fit." These women usually have had lipo-suction done, bo-tox, and plastic surgery boobs, and still pay hundreds of dollars for a personal trainer. An actual trainer has said "They all have lipo and fake boobs so I really don't have to do much of anything." They like to head to the gym in full make up with their hair fixed. They prance around in short shorts and bra tops showing their not worked for bodies. Lovely.

4. The Slutty McSlutterstein's: These are the girls that wear bikini's while in the pool, spa, or saunas. Their boobs (fake or not) are constantly on show and they know it. These women usually get a lot of male attention which they seem to enjoy greatly. I never see them working out in the gym area. They stay in the "wet area" to make sure that those around them can view their goodies. -Rolls eyes-

5. The under-agers: Once again, I'm not sure if this is because we live in the area that we live in and every parent gives their kid a gym membership or what ... but it's very prevalent in our gym. These are also usually female. I say female because the male under-agers usually are working out. In fact, there are some under-agers that actually work out ... but there are a few (the ones that I'm talking about) that are only there for "the boys." These under-agers sit in the sauna with a lot of clothes on so that they draw attention to themselves. Then they begin conversations with their accomplice under-ager about how they should just "not eat ... or throw up." Something that will draw the attention to them. Then they talk about their parent's owning liquer stores. I've yet to see these under-agers leave the sauna area to actually work out. But they are there nearly every day ... talking to a new boy every time.

6. The clueless: These are the people that are the gym and have NO idea what they are doing there. They need help figuring out how to work the elliptical machine and usually pay for a personal trainer to get help. They walk around aimlessly trying to figure out how to do different things and once they figure it out ... they are still slow working it.

And then there is me. I get on the Elliptical for 30 minutes and rock out on my ipod. I lift weights for about 20 minutes afterwards and then I spend about 10 minutes in the steam room or sauna. Where does this place me? ... In "The Awesome" crowd :)

Because that's me ... I'm awesome.

Check out MORE "Very Funny Fridays" HERE!


blogismycopilot said...

i am in the "walk by the windows and think about it" crowd. Thanks for paying a visit to Blog is My Copilot!

Kristina P. said...

I sort of want to be a Slutty McSlutterstein.

Erin said...

I would definitely be in the clueless category. I haven't exercised since, oh, 1994.

I'm not sarcastic... said...

Hi there. Need your e-mail address if you want me to add you to my blog. You can e-mail me at if you want to read.

Good job on working out. I've been kicking some butt at the gym myself.

Liesl said...

I'd either be in the clueless or underage category since I'm a youngin'. Or maybe the AWOL category because I'm so lazy.

Melanie J said...

Huh. You totally must live in my neighborhood because those are the same people at my 24 Hour Fitness.

All about the forensics said...

I used to go with my friend Sabo in college and we were def in the clueless category. We would just hang around and try to watch other people doing it to figure out how to work half the stuff. Then we'd go to the racketball court and whack the ball at each other. LOL

Herb of Grace said...

Thanks for stopping by!

RYC, you're so right. I never do worry...

jennifer said...

This was the add on your sidebar...

"Butt Exercise
Butt-Busting Workouts Designed To Get Your Behind In Tip Top Shape."

The first thing that I saw when I visited so I was giggling already for some reason.