Thursday, January 22, 2009

Blast from the past

I thought that this was a good idea ... after seeing it on Christin's site ...

So, I went back to look at all of my old XANGA stuff and picked out some GOLDEN posts :)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005


See that? That little SPECK? That red mark of DEATH! Well I hate that And in tribute of hating periods, I'm not going to be using ANY for this post I will still skip the appropriate spaces and capitalize as if the gross speck of pain was still there however I will NOT use the Period to end ANY of my sentences today

Why you may ask? Why the period? What HAS it done to you?

IT is the reason for my nausea yesterday

IT is the reason for my cramping today

IT is the reason that I feel YUCKY and just want to lay around and mope because my uterus could very well be thrown up at any point in time that it feels apt to do so

So I'm going on a period STRIKE And you all should!

Follow the masses!! Stop the PERIODS


Thank you for your time That is all


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Channel 1: S.T.D News

A brilliant idea coming forth from my glorious boyfriend as he watched tv yesterday.

He says to me yesterday "Baby, You know how they have that public access channel?" I nod my head, remembering many a night that I watched that because nothing else was on...

"Well I think that they should make Channel One or something like STD Channel." O.O "A WHAT Channel Aaron?" "An STD Channel my darling" (Okay this isn't exactly how the conversation went...but it's how it goes in my head...I mentally add all the pet names in) "An STD Channel hm? How would that work exactly" "Well let me tell you, peanut"

And this is how it would go:

They would have a banner at the top that said "THIS PERSON GAVE SOMEONE STD'S" And then they would have a picture of the person and a location of the person that has STD'S. This way not only will you be able to STEER CLEAR but you can even keep away from that certain AREA...because who knows who it had been passed on to since the original person got it.


A co-worker of Aaron's chimes in "Man, who would watch that?"

Aaron, Me, and two other people that happened to be in the store at the time speak up with "I WOULD!"

I mean wouldn't that be effing interesting?! Getting to see public humiliation in the finest? I'd probably be sitting back with a year book on a regular basis just marking off people with STD'S!

Heck they put Sexual Offenders in the paper! And STD Givers are DEFINANTLY SEXUAL OFFENDERS!!!

Your thoughts on the matter?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Nakomis = Murderer

Put on your shocked faces people....This cute little dog is Wanted...for MURDER!

(See how her eyes are glowing...that's because she has the DEVIL in her)

Recently...I found her in the dining room area, toying with an extremely pissed off lizard that she had caught. It managed to stay alive long enough for me to reprimand her and pick it up and put it back outside into it's habitat.

But she's become smarter.

She waited until I left to go over to Aaron's last night and when my grandpa let her out before they went to bed apparently she drug in two baby birds. And KILLED them.

That's right she killed two baby birds last night, put them in the dining room on display (just like a serial killer so that she could show them off to others) and then crawled in bed with my grandpa as if she were the same sweet little girl that he knew her to be.

This morning when we woke up, there the birds were, one bird in the walkway to the dining room and the other one in a proper burial ground by the plant. She was dancing around them as if she was a witch doctor or some other foul being of the night.

I'm worried...who knows what she'll bring in next? It's a scary thought that you can't even trust your dog around other animals that are smaller than she is. Soon she'll be bringing in squirrels or something *gasp* What will we do then!?

Thursday, June 02, 2005

6 AM Bargains and a Mickey Mouse Jumper

Imagine. Your in bed, dreaming peacefully and the blast of an alarm clock grabs you from your slumber. It's 6 am. And you have a job to do. You pull yourself out of bed and fumble for your glasses as you stare begrudgingly at the clock.

A shuffle across the thin apartment carpet lands you into the hall bathroom, you wash your face and take care of the morning pee. A knock at the door forces you to realize there is yet another sleepy young lady needing to take care of necessities as well. You let her in and you stumble to the living room, still trying to wipe the sleep from your caked eyes. You can hear the bathroom door open, ya'll pass each other in the hall way as you head back to the bathroom to finish with the preparation of morning. This morning you plan on looking like shit. Hell it's only garage sale people right? Ummhmm..a garage sale.

After watching a few videos on MTV and sliding on your flipflops both girls are ready to go. It is now 6:28.

Pulling into the driveway of the garage sale you notice a crowd of people. "What the fuck" quickly slips from your lips before you have the time to think about it. Both girls leave the safety of the vehicle ready to face the crowd of bargainers. And so your Wednesday morning begins. This 50 dollars better be worth it.

The neighbor finally manages to unlock the door and the garage door gets opened quickly. Thank God, otherwise the impatient garage sale vultures were getting fidgety.

It goes off without a hitch. The people come, and go and buy and bargain. ((Which is really annoying btw)) Both girls and the neighbor move things out into the driveway, and move the pool table from the backyard. As such occurrences take place...the neighbor comes out of his haunted abode.

"Someone's going to have to move this car." "This FUCKING pisses me OFF" "Someone's parked in my *Expletive* yard."

The two girls are shocked. It had been a while since they had heard an old man talk such way. What a morning this was shaping up to be.

There were men who wanted boxes full of stuff for 20 dollars. Don't think so.

There were women that wanted Manolo heels for 1.50. They got them for 3.

And most of all...there was a woman that wanted a singer sewing machine that had never been used for 5 dollars. It was sold to someone else for 8. What? The other lady was nicer!

Lunch was exquisite and the rains called people off after 1:30. Which is when the Mickey Mouse jumper was found...and questions about an ex boss quickly arose. Where did she get such a mickey mouse jumper? And how often was it worn?

After 3 pm, the bank was counted and a whopping 690 dollars made. Eff yes, The 50 dollars was worth it. And there will be more bargains to be had Saturday morning from 7 - 12. Be there or be square.

I'll post more later ... enjoy these for now :)

1 comment:

All about the forensics said...

Who knew Nakomis had such a criminal record!!! I feel like I'm going to see her on Snapped or something on Dateline. "She was such a normal dog..." Holliey tried her best to eat my hamster. If only she could have found a way into that annoying plastic ball...