It Takes All Kinds

My new year's resolution was to get fit this year. For real this time. Seriously.

Aaron gets a free membership to 24 hour fitness with his work. My membership is only 20 dollars a month. So ... we've been going nearly every day since December 27th.

I've encountered a lot of people. There are all kinds there. Really.

So, here's my list of people that you will probably find at a public gym:

1. The serious workers: These are the people that I aspire to be one day. They are slim. They are fit. And they work hard at both. You'll find these people doing what they are supposed to do. They work out cardio and move on to some weights. Their muscles are a normal size and are tone. They keep to themselves and usually listen to music on their Ipod.

2. The Muscles: These are the kind of people (usually men) that I can hardly stand. They are usually huge in the arms and shoulders with a pot belly and chicken legs. These people are always looking to show off. For instance, not only will they put the highest weight possible on the machine ... they'll add some to the machine even though they aren't supposed to. These people always look around to check and see if anyone is watching before they start lifting their heavy load. They always want an audience.

3. The Desperate Housewife: We get a lot of these in this area, mainly because it's a rich area with a lot of women that are stay at home-ers with nothing else to do but "get fit." These women usually have had lipo-suction done, bo-tox, and plastic surgery boobs, and still pay hundreds of dollars for a personal trainer. An actual trainer has said "They all have lipo and fake boobs so I really don't have to do much of anything." They like to head to the gym in full make up with their hair fixed. They prance around in short shorts and bra tops showing their not worked for bodies. Lovely.

4. The Slutty McSlutterstein's: These are the girls that wear bikini's while in the pool, spa, or saunas. Their boobs (fake or not) are constantly on show and they know it. These women usually get a lot of male attention which they seem to enjoy greatly. I never see them working out in the gym area. They stay in the "wet area" to make sure that those around them can view their goodies. -Rolls eyes-

5. The under-agers: Once again, I'm not sure if this is because we live in the area that we live in and every parent gives their kid a gym membership or what ... but it's very prevalent in our gym. These are also usually female. I say female because the male under-agers usually are working out. In fact, there are some under-agers that actually work out ... but there are a few (the ones that I'm talking about) that are only there for "the boys." These under-agers sit in the sauna with a lot of clothes on so that they draw attention to themselves. Then they begin conversations with their accomplice under-ager about how they should just "not eat ... or throw up." Something that will draw the attention to them. Then they talk about their parent's owning liquer stores. I've yet to see these under-agers leave the sauna area to actually work out. But they are there nearly every day ... talking to a new boy every time.

6. The clueless: These are the people that are the gym and have NO idea what they are doing there. They need help figuring out how to work the elliptical machine and usually pay for a personal trainer to get help. They walk around aimlessly trying to figure out how to do different things and once they figure it out ... they are still slow working it.

And then there is me. I get on the Elliptical for 30 minutes and rock out on my ipod. I lift weights for about 20 minutes afterwards and then I spend about 10 minutes in the steam room or sauna. Where does this place me? ... In "The Awesome" crowd :)

Because that's me ... I'm awesome.

Check out MORE "Very Funny Fridays" HERE!

I got my pillow!

I won an awesome pillow from Mormon Mommy Blogs!

Now, it resides on our bed and it's lovely!

I'd post a picture of it ... but I'm sick. And tired.

(reminds me of an old Cosby stand-up)

Anyway ... I'll post it later. When I get up. Or after I go to sleep and wake up again. Or ... later.

But know this, I'm super duper grateful!

Today is the Day

Today is the last day for birth control!!!

I've been on the ring for a while now ... a year or so? Before that I was on the pill ... etc. etc. etc.

But no longer! I'm done with the ring as of today!

We are going to wait a couple of months to let the birth control completely get out of my system and start trying around April-Mayish.

Getting pregnant this summer would be absolutely PERFECT! But getting pregnant period would be perfect too!

I'm so excited to start this new time in our lives!!!!!!

I love you ...

Is this little guy not the cutest?? Now he's a little over a year old and he thinks that he is a big boy.

He hates annoying singers on American Idol. When he hears them squealing off key, he stops squeaking his toy and stares at the screen with a "seriously?" look on his face.

He loves getting new dental bones. In fact, the other night ... Nakomis (our bird eating, scared to poop chihuahua) had just wrestled his bone away from him and was eating it smugly in front of him. So, he planned it out and slowly starting sneaking up on her. When she looked up he averted his eyes as if to say "Nope, I'm not going after that bone!" I thought it was hilarious! He also talks with Emily the cat and gets her to walk into the room to make Nakomis nervous and lunge at her. This frees up the bone and he swoops in for the win.

He loves the laptop and tries to lay his little head on the "warm spots."

He makes little noises when he yawns. It's absolutely adorable.

When I go to get ice out of the freezer, he runs into the kitchen and waits patiently for me to hand him a small piece of ice.

Before he turned one and was no longer a "puppy," we had said that we might allow him to sleep outside of his cage/bed. But, when it actually came down to his birthday ... we forgot. He barked in his cage for a week after wards, as if he knew that we were supposed to let him sleep outside of his cage after he turned one and we didn't hold up our end.

Right now, he is curled up in my Aaron's lap dreaming about stealing dental bones from his nemesis Nakomis with the help of his side kick - Emily the cat.

It's Called an Honor Society for a REASON

I'm in my student teaching semester, right? Which I guess doesn't quite qualify me to be "Little Miss English Teacher" until May ... but my old blog name blatantly spelled out my name and I didn't want any snot-nosed kids trying to find my blog and "ruin me." Or something or another.

Anyway, my mentor teacher is the NHS sponsor for the school. A couple of weeks ago, two girls that are senior members of NHS were caught cheating. In fact, they were caught cheating by the president of NHS. *STUPID!*

So, they were sent down to the AP's office, they immediately burst into tears and confessed.

The Honor Society has to have a formal meeting to kick out students and they really had all that they needed ... the students confessed to cheating ... it was a done deal! Or not.

Apparently, one of the parents claims that they were not given sufficient time to attend the formal meeting to dismiss an honor student from the program. They also claim that the student was interrogated for an hour and a half and that her words were misconstrued and that she didn't confess to anything. The parent also claims that when the student went to attend the meeting, the sponsor told her that it wasn't going to matter either way and she just mine as well not waste her time because they were going to kick her out either way.

Great job, "honor student." How about we add LIAR to your ever growing resume of unethical qualities.

So, I can't wait to find out how things go. It's not really going to matter one way or another. They have the proof. They have a confession. Cut and dry!

I tell you what though ... the parents at the school that I teach at are crazy about NHS. There is another parent that continually emails the sponsor and counselor for NHS because her daughter has a 3.95 GPA but requires a 4.0 to be in NHS. The parent can't understand why her daughter can't be admitted. "Well, Lady ... if the bylaws say 4.0 ... it's a 4.0 not a 3.95." If the other 150 students that just got inducted can maintain a 4.0 ... she'll have to do the same ...

It's called an Honor Society for a REASON, people!

3D: The wave of the future?

We just renewed our new lease on our quaint little one bedroom with a study. You know the one ... where we live over the frat boys? (In fact, we encountered one of them today and I think that they named their dog "Lil' SH**. I say this because that was all he could call it when our dogs and his dog wanted to play.)

Anyway, we aren't ready to buy a house just yet so we are going to sign a lease for 7 months. Well, we told them that we wanted our carpets cleaned since we were going to renew. They agreed ... which means that we had to be out of the house today between 10-12. We didn't leave the house until about 10:45 ... but that's no big thing because apparently they didn't come until around 12 anyway.

We decided to skip yoga this morning and instead catch My Bloody Valentine in 3d. We wanted to go early to this showing because if we would have gone tonight then we would have had to pay an extra 1.75 which I think is ridiculous.

So we get there ... and have popcorn for breakfast ... and make it in the theatre just in time to see the sign that says "Put your 3d glasses on now, please." We comply.

Now, I am not sure how I feel about 3d being the wave of the future. Aaron has read articles that state that there could start being 3d televisions! I worry about this because I like to watch television in my glasses and my PJs and don't want to have to worry about putting on my contacts just so that I can wear the 3d glasses (like I had to do this morning ... ouch my eyes!)

Or, if they decide that they are going to have more 3d movies out (which they seem to be going towards ...) I think that they should not have as many horror movies be in 3d. Because when something is flying at my face at break neck speeds ... I tend to close one eye in fright (yeah, big baby ... that's me) and then it completely ruins the shot.

Oops. I forgot that both eyes needed to be open to see the effects. My bad. Next time an axe is headed towards my head, I'll try to remember that.

So, in other words ... My Bloody Valentine was actually a good movie. I liked the 3d. It wasn't cheesy 3d ... you know where they throw popcorn or other stupid stuff at the screen to try and get a rise out of the audience ... No, it was really good 3d. I just have to remember not to wince because I'm scared that the bullet, or axe, or other form of weapon that is flying at my head is not really a real object. Duh.

But ... I couldn't see a romance in 3d ... what would they make come out of the screen at you? Her huge diamond rock?

Very Funny Friday

Alright, so this is my first time to do one of these things that they call a ... Carnival? I guess that makes me a Carnie. Nice ... something that I've always aspired to ...

Anyway ... it's crazy early in the morning. I'm sitting here in jeans and the tank top that I went to bed in. My hair wasn't blow dried last night which makes it all over my freaking head so I'm waiting for the straightener to load up.

I have clothes on the floor ... my teeth aren't brushed yet ... (WHAT?! I just finished eating some cereal!) ... and I really need to get my butt in gear if I'm going to leave my house at a reasonable time. (6:30)

And yet ... I love my blog SO MUCH ... that I'm going to try this whole thing and see if I can get some readers to love it too!

Unfortunately ... as it's so early in the morning ... I don't have anything "very funny" to post. That's new ...

So, I'm going to post my favorite post that I've ever had ... I'm sure that you haven't read it yet ... so you should enjoy it.

This was written back in 2005 ...

Friday, April 08, 2005

Are you a cheater? Fess up now. RIGHT NOW! Have you ever cheated? Don't start giving me...well I was drunk....and...stuff...just... No I mean have you ever cheated in school!? A thought occurred to me as I was walking to a class all alone yesterday (I have to occasionally talk to myself just so I'm not lonely :) ) I've been in College for two years now and I have never ONCE cheated. Not once. Not even on homework (which could probably be because I don't know anyone in my classes well enough to be like.."You...right there...smart one...give up the homework!") Have any of YOU cheated in college? Lemme just tell you that I was an AVID cheater in Highschool...dude I cheated on EVERYTHING! Especially after my freshman year when a friend of mine and I were falsely accused of cheating on some homework. So I figure...eff it....if I'm gonna get blamed for it I mine as well start doing it yah think? I had the cheating DOWN! Ways to Cheat 101: 1) Have someone in the class ahead of you write down the answers to the scantron on a small slip of paper and slip it to you between classes. 2) Roll up a sheet of paper with the answers on it and stick it inside your pen. Then sit in the back of the room and undo your pen after the "cheater check" was complete. 3) Wear long sleeves and write the answers on your arms and your palm and then sit in the back of the class and enjoy making an A. 4) **Added by This beautiful lady** Make a bracelet with the answers on it and during the "Cheater Check" just turn the bracelet inside out! (BRILLIANCE I tell you) 5) And my personal favorite..(which I shall demonstrate..) SUPPLIES NEEDED: One skirt (Make sure it's regulation length because if you get busted by the dress code police, it is NOT my fault dude.) One clean thigh (Must be clean btw) Hm Depending on how big the test is you might need TWO thighs. One felt tip marker. Don't get one that's gonna smear or smudge. Because if your gonna go through with this there might be alittle sweating/glistening/glittering/perspiring (whatever it is you wanna call it) involved. Now, if you havn't already guessed what your going to do lemme break it down for you. You make yourself alittle cheat sheet on your thigh(s) and then wear a skirt to school that day. The desk totally covers your legs right...so You can just lift up your skirt and get the answers that you don't already have memorized! BTW: It is NOT my fault if you get busted doing this...obviously your just not slick enough and will have to continue practicing young grasshopper! BOYS/GUYS/MEN: Unfortunantly I don't think this form of cheating will work with you but I did give you three other options to try out! So for those of you in Highschool...there yah go. And for those of you in College or out of College .... Did you cheat in college? PSH Because *I* damn sure won't! To afraid something horrible will happen!! Don't "Cheat" yourself out of a great FRIDAY!! Have fun this weekend!! <3<3<3 See ... wasn't that hilarious? I think so. Especially since I'm an English Teacher now ... giving instructions (with pictures) on how to cheat in my classroom. Nice. Check out more "Very Funny Friday's" HERE