Austin doesn't practice Safe Sex.

Sorry that it's taken so long for me to update about my fabulous Bachelorette party ... but Aaron and I have had to start packing up for our Wedding and Honeymoon. It's very stressful trying to make sure that we have everything because it's not like we can just jump back in the car and go and get it.

Anyway!

I went over to Aaron's sister's house around 12:20 so that I could straighten my hair. She has a chi ... which is way better than any straightener that I've ever owned. Then we loaded up the vehicle, her friend met us there, and we took for for A-town! After an enjoyable car ride ... we made it to Christy's house and got the party started!

Everything was decorated awesome! There was a buffet table with all kinds of snacks foods. Unfortunately, there was mini penis cakes even though I specifically asked for none. But they were good ... so all was forgiven. We played a couple of games while Loren and Kasi got ready and then I opened presents! I got a lot of beautiful lingerie ... and I'm very excited about all of it! I also got this freaking AWESOME shirt that says "BRIDE" on the front and "The Future Mrs. Allen" on the back with the date that we are going to get married! I love it ... and will probably wear it all the time ... even AFTER we are married!

Then we went to a porn shop so that we could play some kind of scavenger hunt. Most of the other girls were very scared ... but Amanda and I teamed together and found all of the items that we were supposed to find. Including ... "The Destroyer" which ... as Loren says "Can only be used to get the woman ready for child birth" it was MASSIVE.

Once everyone got tired with that we went to eat at this Tex-Mex restaurant called VIvo! It was great! They had a really good sangria margarita. The bathrooms had rose petals and ice in the sinks. The food was delicious. The waiter was a good sport ... (I found out that he had had sex earlier that day, that his favorite position is the wheel barrow, that his fantasy involves a beach, and that his boxers were blue with green stripes). And at the end of it all ... every girl at the table gets a long stemmed rose! It was very very nice! Plus the drinks were huge!!

Then we went back to the house and got ready to go out for the night ... we all got dressed up and called taxi's and headed out. When we first got there ... a couple of places gave me free shots ... which was pretty sweet. After that, I got my alcohol other ways. I also had a list of things that I had to do ... "Ask a guy for a condom" "Do a body shot off a guy" "Grab a guy's ass" "Have a guy Grab your ass" "Kiss a guy with the same last name as your Man's" etc. I did most of them ... including the body shot ... which was the only shot that I had to pay for.

But I couldn't get a condom from anyone! I figured that would be the easiest one ... therefore the only conclusion that I can come to is that Austin does NOT practice safe sex. Although some guys claimed that it was bad luck to carry around a condom. That it was dangerous and the condom would probably break if they carried it around. And even that it was the girl's responsibility to have one!

Before the night was over, we headed to the Gay Bar ... because we were told by Christy's roommate that I should get lots of free shots because Gay Guy's LOVE girls that are getting married! And mostly they did!! I even got a guy to drop trou in the middle of the club and give me his underwear (Another thing that was on the list). They were BRAND NEW Ralph Lauren's too! Another guy basically took over my list and started asking people for all of the stuff that I needed ... it was really funny. Then I had to get on this stage thing and dance ... except apparently I wasn't supposed too ... and instead got Pelted with ice and told to get down. But it's okay ... I'm a good sport!

We left pretty early because Loren apparently got trashed at the bar in the hotel that her and her friend went to while we went to the gay bar. We had to haul a cab and go and pick her up ... where she promptly told the driver that "She was going to like him ... because she liked aggressive drivers, like her." It was hilarious!

We went back to the house ... and Christy's roommate entertained us for a few hours ... this guy was freaking HILARIOUS! I want to carry him around in my pocket for a good laugh from now on! I think that he should go on Last Comic Standing ... because he is AWESOME! Then we all went to sleep ... woke up around 11 ... got packed up and went and ate at Ihop before we headed back home!

I didn't get drunk ... I didn't have a hang over ... the only thing that was wrong with me was my stupid sore throat ... which progressively got worse. Now, besides a cough ... I'm feeling better. Apparently, Christy is sick with something VERY contagious, so I have very glad that I didn't get that ... and Amanda is sick with something too ... but I'm not sure what. Hopefully, everyone will be all better for the Wedding!!!! Which is .. oh you know ... this SATURDAY!!!